“I Never Dreamed You’d Leave in Summer”*

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My sister just told me her college best friend’s husband transitioned from this earthly world to the spirit world a mere two hours ago. I am praying for his young wife who shouldn’t be widowed at thirty-something. My heart aches for her and for my friends who lost mothers (Tracey & Nikia) this summer, another who lost her mother-in-law (Tish) and yet another who lost her father-in-law (Penny). Most of these deaths were unexpected which is always traumatizing. 

Just yesterday was the seven year anniversary of my father’s sudden death back in 2008. I know death is a part of life but it doesn’t change the fact that the recognition that you’ll never see this person again is akin to tearing your heart out of your chest, stomping on it then lighting it on fire. It took me a year for the raw pain to scab over. I had to go through all the firsts: Thanksgiving, Christmas, his birthday, the first anniversary of his death… 

What I’m trying to say here, is don’t be weird and not say ‘I love you’ to your friends and family. I can use the term ‘weird’ because I’m ‘weird’ and sometimes showing emotion is really difficult for me but because of the losses I’ve experienced I’ve forced myself to get over that foolishness. Why is it hard to say ‘I love you’ to someone you love?  On that last day, when I left Dad in the hospital. I looked back and said ‘I love you’. I never did that before but apparently my spirit knew (although my brain didn’t) that my father would be departing. I’m so glad I don’t have that regret.

To all my sisters and who lost a loved one this summer, I love you and am sending you hugs.

*Shout-out to Stevie Wonder; his song title,from the Where I’m Coming From album fit so perfectly

Pete Rock & CL Smooth- They Reminisce Over You, my favorite R.I.P. song

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