Getting Caught in the Rain: A Hair Story


I love this story. It’s included in my book Sonic Memories . I decided to post the entire story on Medium. If you like what you read, check out the rest of my book. 

I used to lust after white girl hair: bouncy and shiny, bone straight or lustrous curls. Anything long that could get wet and lay straight to the scalp would do. Until college, I was always the only black girl in my grade, a speck of pepper in a sea of salt. Surrounded by hair drastically different than my tightly coiled, vertically challenged locks, I longed for what I believed I could never have. I sat behind Jennifer — there was always a Jennifer — and watched her separate a lock of hair with her forefinger and begin to twirl it from root to tip. Sometimes she would insert her #2 pencil into her tresses and twist and then let go, the hair spinning in a silky ribbon. I stared at the back of her head until I saw myself with Punky Brewster’s ponytails or emerging from a pool, hair slicked back. The Jennifers had hair that obeyed, falling just right, back into place. In its natural state, mine is thick like a bramble bush. It has to be heated to straighten, will stick out if twirled, and never follows my orders to fall back into the fold. Attempts to wrap my hair around my finger left me smoothing and re-smoothing the same stubborn patch in vain. Continue here

Black Women in the Arts

Yesterday I went to the National Museum of Women in the Arts (NMWA)in DC to see the Magnetic Fields exhibit which per the exhibit site “…celebrates the contribution of black women artists and argues for their enduring relevance to American abstraction.”

One of my homegirls put this on our calendar almost a month ago. Truth be told the grey, rainy weather did not put me in the mood to leave my comfy pad in Baltimore and get on the train. As usual when I’m ready to be lazy, but actually rally, I tend to have a good time. Yesterday was no exception. On top of the fabulous exhibit, I got to peruse the DC Art Book Fair  which was happening at NMWA as well. Art & Music provide me with spiritual sustenance; I’m so thankful for this day.

“Magnetic Fields” runs until January 21, 2018 so get there asap. First Sundays of the month are free so mark your calendar!

art_magnetic fields wall

Here are some pics I took of pieces that particularly fascinated me:

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Artist: Marren Hassinger, Wrenching News, 2008

Response to Hurricane Katrina

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Wrenching News close up


Artist: Kianja Strobert, Charmer, 2016


Charmer close-up


Artist: Gilda Snowden, Imaginary Landscape, 2006


Artist: Brenna Youngblood Forecast, 2014


Artist: Shinique Smith,  Bale Variant No. 0017, 2009


Bale Variant 0017 closeup

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Artist: Brenna Youngblood, Yardguard, 2015

art_barbara chase-riboud

Artist: Barbara Chase-Riboud, Zanzibar/Black 1974-1975

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Zanzibar/Black closeup

Fresh Single


2 weeks post breakup

I’m fresh single. My dude broke up with me at the end of May and I haven’t seen him since. This summer we’ve talked three times for a total of about 10 minutes and most of our text messages have been all business: shared bills, returning apartment keys, and scheduling times to pick up belongings. We started dating in 2006 — and minus about three years of a long-distance friendship — have been together ever since. The struggle is real. My heart interprets his silence as a comment about my worthiness. My brain, says Bitch, get a grip! Read the rest here


ocean view

Being on vacation has its perks: being off work, at the beach, and having the time to follow interesting story threads on Twitter. I landed on a few good pieces today, but there was a section in this particular Q&A piece posted on Create & Cultivate entitled,  How One 28 Year Old Phenom Got Recruited by Arianna Huffington—about Callie Schweitzer, a 28-year-old entrepreneurial spirited journalist—that piqued my interest. Callie was asked what skill she’s developed over time. Her response, “A big part of what we’re focused on at Thrive is the idea that we don’t have different selves for our work lives and personal lives — that we bring our whole selves with us wherever we go. So one of my favorite things about working here is that we can be free to be open about our “sacred time” — the time you need each day/week/month to be your best self…” I’ve never had an ongoing professional experience where I was encouraged to take sacred time for self. I’ve worked with exactly one manager who has allowed me to be me and not try to convince me to conform to company culture.

I’m currently obsessed with developing a creative life for myself where my work is my life, meaning I’m getting paid for all of the things I enjoy doing for free, therefore it doesn’t feel like work. This snippet right here is another signpost on my path whispering, what you want is possible but you have to create for yourself. So I’m going to brainstorm and use Callie’s quote as a litmus test to clarify if the choices I’m making are serving my purpose. Now if I can find a way to be at the beach more often than not, then I’ll have made progress.

I’d love to hear your thoughts:

  • Are you working in an environment where you can be yourself 100%?
  • Are you supported in taking sacred time for self so you can bring your best self to the job everyday?