Avoiding Grey Gardens

Let’s be clear, Grey Gardens is not the life I want to live but I can see how, if you let the neuroses of the mind lead your life, one could slip into a life that becomes a soft haze of unhappiness where the edges of reality lick around your brain like the tiny flame edging a newly lit piece of paper, except unlike the paper consumed by the flame you never let reality in. I pride myself on the ability to ‘face reality’ but it makes me hard. Today I inhaled 4 pieces of pizza in an effort to feel like my day was not spent alone even though I didn’t have to be but I guess the person I most wanted to see is my best friend whose bday it happens to be and who lives clear across the country. I hate myself for feeling so damn weak and secretly wonder if shark week is approaching since my mood is foul and zits are forming.

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