Valentine’s Day Cautionary Tale: Fellas Got Opinions

So before I get into it a couple of things:

  • The Google Valentine’s Day skit on their home page is so cute-love the song
  • I just saw a young lanky stylin guy riding down a hill against traffic on a bicycle-in the one and only hand wrapped around a bike handle he had about 5 or 6 of those shiny heart shaped helium balloons in his grasp while the other was holding his cell phone to his ear -the sentiment was there but so was the imminent end to his hallowed career as riding against traffic, in the rain,  down a hill, during rush hour with only one hand steadying the bike holding a full conversation raises the chances of an accident.

Now back to my little ditty about Valentine’s Day. If I’m not in a relationship I actually could care less about Valentine’s Day because it wasn’t practiced by my parents. My paternal grandfather would give my sister and I a heart-shaped box of Russell Stover chocolate candies, most of which we would poke and prod to try to guess what mystery awaited us just below the waxy chocolate surface. I happen to be one of very few women I personally know who is not fazed by chocolate. Typical me (champagne tastes/kool-aid money), I really like dark chocolate truffles from Godiva, which are of course a bit pricey, however all I need is a nice little 3-pack anything more and it’s a wrap. I’d actually rather have fruity candy like Haribo gummi bears, Mike & Ike’s or Swedish Fish…something fun like that. So what is my point exactly; basically that I’m always torn when it comes to my views on Valentine’s Day. I betcha I wouldn’t care if I didn’t have to go out into the world, thanks to DVR all those saccharine commercials touting the latest talking stuffed animal, musical card, or candy can be fast-forwarded.

This year I’m in a relationship and knowing we are currently on a tight budget I wasn’t expecting anything, but typical chick despite what you know and what you discussed, you still hope that your man  will  do something that doesn’t cost a thing to show ‘his love’ like wash the dishes, write a nice heartfelt note and leave it for me to discover when I get home from work, or cook a quick breakfast just something low key yet thoughtful. Well ladies and gents, no such thing happened BUT I will not lament the day because in reality I know what I have and that is emotional support, we’ve really gone through some tough life experiences so I won’t succumb to the side-eye that can be brought on by watching women you work with get flower deliveries, show you their new piece of  jewelry and talk about their fabulous dinner plans. In reality my guy is busting his ass at work tonight so I’ll leave him alone…for now…

While at work today we had several inappropriate yet interesting and hilarious conversations; I’ll focus on one here and that is men’s answer to Valentine’s Day entitled Steak & BJ Day. Yes ladies, you read correctly and if I have to spell out what BJ is then you clearly are in need of some help that I can’t provide or you are underage and should not be reading this.  So my girl was chatting with her homeboy when he brings up this ‘delightful’ faux holiday…I say faux because unlike the merchandise-friendly Valentine’s Day, Steak & BJ Day has not been incorporated into American mores as of yet. Nevertheless my friend swears she was told this, problem is we were at work so we had to save our research for after-hours. Here are the facts as outlined by the official website (see link below):

  • What: Steak & BJ Day
  • Who: This holiday is specifically set up to celebrate the men in your life as you expect them to celebrate you on the more widely known Valentine’s Day
  • When: March 14th; ladies notice it’s a full month of Valentine’s after-glow before it’s time to warm up those knee-pads
  • Where: Wherever you are located; I’m guessing if you don’t live stateside but would like to adopt this holiday in your native country it is quite alright (note: please check with your country’s embassy before adopting-you don’t want any ‘trouble’)
  • Why: Per home page of the website“…guys feel left out. That’s right, there’s no special holiday for the ladies to show their appreciation for the men in their life.”

All my fellas, please note that you can’t just celebrate Steak & BJ Day without putting in work (not talking about financially) and celebrating  Valentine’s Day as well. That being said, when discussing this earlier with my homegirl I told her I wish my man would try to play me on Valentine’s Day then pull my card on Steak & BJ Day cause for real, you wanna play games? I’ll change it to Steakums and a Lick Day. We collectively roared over that one and she shared that info with her homeboy, his response was priceless and a cautionary tale for us ladies since he said if we mess up we’ll get a “…a dandelion and  a hot pocket” on Valentine’s Day! I hooted and hollered to that one. So the moral of the story is this, if you celebrate the Hallmark version of this holiday then fellas you better do it right and ladies, if you expect your fellas to treat you to a fabulous evening on the town replete with flowers, candy, and lovemaking on a bear-skin rug in front of a roaring fire ala the bodice ripper novels then you best to be the first one to buy a good cut of steak and some knee-pads!

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