Gettin’ My Life aka Shaking Auto-Pilot

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Reflective Me @ work writing (or procrastinating)

I miss being up on this joint everyday. Two years ago I was blogging all the dayum time. I vented about the plethora of adults running around in jeggings, leggings, and tights (still relevant especially here in Bmore); shouted out my music muses; shared the joys (and judgments) of a chicken box (Bmore favorite, even the sparrows enjoy them) and raved about my love of the muppets- especially Miss Piggy in The Great Muppet Caper. I gathered up a small yet loyal following, got published, was accepted into an MFA writing program and then deteriorated into blogging only twice a month. I have yet to allow an entire month to pass with no posts but the numbers don’t look too good. How did I end up joining a writing program and writing less? It reminds me of a conversation I had with a visual artist last year; she said prior to entering grad school she created relentlessly. She wondered if maybe she’d lost her instinctive mojo because of assignments. I wonder the same thing.

It’s been crickets y’all. I’ve published one piece in the past two years (my fault, not writing enough to send anything out) I need to get with my blog and jostle up some ideas or else I’ll continue to struggle. My program is both creative writing and publishing; this has been the year of publishing. Thank God I was invited to join a writing group so I can be held accountable and workshop some stuff since I’m not taking any classes this summer. I can’t even believe I just finished year two of school!!! Lemme pause for the cause and pour out some pinot grigio for the grey hairs I’ve gained since grad school started…wait wait wait, nah can’t waste the vino.

I’m tryna purge all the rules and get my voice and inspiration back. I’m not sayin my voice has been lost thanks to school; it’s been muffled by ‘requirements.’ Now I’m sitting here imagining my fantasy self: writing witty Q&A columns for Esquire, some comedy scripts, and adding my commentary to a panel of diverse women with a sense of humor. I’ll add a dash of storytelling (took a class this term; loved it!) and author some books while I’m at it. I’d love to teach part-time too. I’m serious. I needed to say this y’all I’ve been adrift for a bit, just getting it done at work-at home-at school. If I don’t stop and remind myself of my goals and accomplishments I’ll remain on autopilot, finish school and be in the same position. That can’t happen nephew (using my best Snoop Lion voice)!

Y’all know what I mean? Anybody else feel the same or have a recommendation for shaking auto-pilot?